Stories

This is the 7th in the series of Fluck Tuesdays.

Inspired by Oliver Fluck’s “(x, y, z ?)

Photo courtesy of Oliver Fluck and sincere gratitude for the collaboration which resulted in eight very unique fiction pieces. These were the initial stories. Then I continued to create 23 more and that is how  Collection of Auguries came to be. Grateful for the synchronicity which brought us together so these stories could be told with the help of a lens.

Life is a festival, for all who know about it” – Ethan Holub

from Collection of Auguries

12 thoughts on “Stories

  1. very beautiful story…makes you think about so many things…what actually is meant by name of a person alphabets or words..how we all want to be heard fully,not halfway.How people reflect retrospectively about divorce/relations…would their lives would have being different.if they had the insight they have now….its one of those stories that make you think about so many bygone things about ones life story

  2. I like the mix of worlds and the characters feel real. I like how this touches on a lot of deeper things what we say, what we don’t say, and what we hear.

    I’m not sure if this is an error; I’m now suspecting my internal grammar cop is corrupt, but you wrote: “rushed passed”. I’ve always thought that should be “rushed past”, but I’ve seen similar errors in other cases; so this may be valid grammar.

    I’m hoping my office mate w/ whom I’m going to dinner will be leaving the office soon; so may not be on the cyberhighway 😉

  3. @Aidan Fritz – – Hi Aidan. Thanks for pointing that out. You are right but I am not sure for the right reasons. It should be ‘past’ ONLY because it is being used as an adverb, because there is a VERB prior to it. Otherwise, it is passed and not past. 🙂 Thanks.

    Thank you for reading, always.

  4. We must be on the same wavelength as I have been running a thought similar to “There are stories that make us and then there are stories we make up.” in my head.

    I love this tale – my favourite thus far – I felt as if I was there and that it was speaking to me.

    Annie, I am so glad we “met”; thank you!

    Pen and paper,
    Sarah

  5. “even though neither her uncle nor she belonged in the same pigment spectrum as Franz.”

    This rounds up how much I loved this story. Very touching and a bit dramatic that feels so real.

    Why is no one ever happy or satisfied? Why there’s so much greyness in our lives? You brought back beautifully this frequent musing of mind. Well done! 🙂

  6. First of all, I love your idea with that piece. It illuminates the picture. Watching the picture after reading the story, it has gotten warmer. The photograph and the text fit so well with each other. They breath life into each other.

    You did a great job with the characters. The text glides from one to the other and back and to the next one. It feels very smooth. Your writing has got a natural feel – very precious. You somehow manage to disguise all the work you’ve put into it. Like all great storytellers, your voice itself makes us forget your presence and leads us deeper into the story.
    The deeper the water the stronger the shine of the surface under the sun is. The more evident the shine is to the eye, the less the depth of the water can be surmised. It’s the feeling I get when reading this piece.

    The truth about the characters’ real selves and motivations is not surprising. It is exact but stays unsuspected until displayed. Since it is given through the characters’ actions and thoughts – and not using an external narrator – it is even more credible and moving. Very well handled.

    On the downside, I think this piece could use a bit of editing compared to the last ones you posted. There are a few grammar issues that would only require somebody else to have a quick read through the piece to be corrected. I know how impossible it is to see this kind of things in your own writing after a while.

    Also – and it’s only a personal opinion – some dialogue tags could possibly be improved, e.g.:
    ——————-
    “No. I suppose not,” Tariro said. “Please, continue,” she said extra politely.

    “Well—he said that he stands there every weekday to snort in people’s stories.
    ——————-
    Even if some argue that the only tag you’ll ever need is ‘to say’, I disagree. I believe that by using only the verb ‘to say’ you’re losing a chance to give some more personality and individualism to your characters.
    But in that excerpt, the tags did not bother me per se. They just sounded pretty repetitive.

    These minor points don’t hurt the beauty of the piece. It’s really one of my favourites from all I’ve read of your writing so far, but I thought I would share my point of view on everything I felt and thought when reading it.
    Thank you again for sharing!

  7. @Chosekiei – Hi sekiei… thank you for your thoughtful comment and feedback. So very kind of you to take the time.

    I appreciate ALL your thoughts.

    With the shorter pieces that I post here, I had to let go of the grammar nut in me or I would never finish, which has been the story for too long with my writing. These are just baby pieces, to get the “creative clutter” out, so as to have a clear focus for narration and plot drive for my WIP.

    As far as the dialogue tags, yes, I agree. On a re-write, most definitely. And it is something I try to be mindful of during the 1st draft too.

    Believe it or not, I write these in 24 hours and hence the issues you point!

    once again, thank you so much for your time, effort and energy to share your wonderful feedback.

    annie

  8. See, that’s exactly the problem I’ve got… You’re so much braver than I am.
    I would like to be able to be spontaneous like that. Sometimes, I really feel I just want to put everything that is sprouting out of my brain and trying to find a way through my skull – yes, it does feel like that – on paper and leave it at that. Let people read it like that.
    But then my evil critic self wakes up and I can’t do it, I just start bashing my own head in and words that were glowing softly in the darkness suddenly drift into full light and put ugly masks on.
    So far, I’ve never managed to shut my integrated corrector down. Maybe I should keep trying…
    I really admire you for posting those.

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