Still Sundays

June 27th.

If you would like to know what Still Sundays is about, please take a quick gander here and just read the first paragraph. Thanks.

Do all cities hold the same silence early on a Sunday morning? Yes. Is the stillness which reverberates from each city indistinguishable?  No. No two cities are alike no matter how similar. People often tend to lump the metropolises together: London, New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, etc. They are not the same. If they appear the same it is often because no exploration beyond airports and corporate buildings takes place. If you limit yourself to doing the same things in all cities you will only see the same things: plays, movies, malls, shopping, restaurants, clubs, etc.


It is the cracks within Philadelphia that define what can’t easily be articulated about her. The city of brotherly love is complicated. But then again, Love altogether is so simple that it too easily perplexes us. So, perhaps it is indeed fitting that brotherly love is complex. Philly–city of colorful porches, patios, and estates.


I was in Philly this weekend to attend a good friend’s wedding. Of course whenever a marital ceremony is in the periphery, discussions involving relationships are inevitable.  This is especially so when surrounded by the following variety: same sex partnerships which defy stereotypes yet are functional and full of joy;  heterosexual couples who have been together for 15 years and do not want a marriage certificate;  couples who got married within six months of meeting one another and work for the happily ever after.  Some friends say monogamy is not plausible. An open relationship that is functional is what the world is leaning towards. What’s functional? If we are not naturally monogamous, does evolution call for it? Regardless of where we are headed or where we have been, we all want, in the words of Marco Rojas, one of my favorite yoga instructors (yes I realize I have mentioned him so often that I must dedicate an entire article to him–I will): we all want the freedom to Be and want to understand and be understood. I have been hearing this for so long that it is part of my psyche now. Marco also says this is why it is important to be conscious of the words in our surround sound reality system.


The match against United States and Ghana was intense. We lost. I stayed away from Twitter, specially after I peeked at the streams. There is a fine line between pride and arrogance. I wanted the United States to win. But I never want to want something so badly that I am unable to recognize why it’s not plausible. Sometimes it takes awhile to decipher and acknowledge the why of something not occurring. Yet there are incidents that never manifest to their full potential and the why not remains incomprehensible and we just live with that. Easier to deal with in football than life, I suppose.

It wasn’t until the second half of the game when I realized that Ghana was playing every minute with the energy as if the game had just started. There weren’t out to prove anything; they were out to win. There is a difference. We wanted to prove, to show, that yes, we too can do this. We don’t intrinsically understand the “beautiful game”; we understand it on cerebral level. We play football with the mentality we have for other sports exclusive to the United States. We do care that Bill Clinton is watching. We think how we played during the last game counts. Every game is new. Every moment is new.

Some said “I don’t care if we win by luck, a random act of the Universe, or God’s kindness.” I don’t want any team to win by luck. Of course there is always a certain amount of luck: the ball grazes the goal post, the slip from goal keeper’s hands, etc. But that alone can’t carry you to the championship match. You have to out-skill and endure the opponent for ninety minutes and sometimes more. Any team relying on lucky goals can’t make beyond a few games.


I am often told I am very lucky to have the friends I do. I know this. I don’t take it for granted. However, I also recognize the consistent effort which has gone into the last decade to maintain these friendships. The Friends Inc. Trust Fund. Do I have friends who I was friends with in high school? A few. College? A handful. But only in hindsight; it is not that which has propelled the friendships forward. None of these friendships were the kind where two people or a group sticks together and has weekly, monthly or yearly reunions or trips. Be it from a decade ago or my adult life, I am friends with the same people not because they are the same but because they have changed. And in ways they haven’t changed, they have chosen to evolve their lifestyles around values they hold dear.

I like people for the most part. I like their stories even more. Some say I befriend strangers too easily.  What most people are not willing to hear is that I am equally notorious for cutting people out of my life. I rarely do that but when I do, it’s done. We all have only certain iotas of energy in any given day. All relationships are an exchange of energy. If you don’t move the dead plant out of the way, the light can’t shine on the new one behind it. Must unclog and clear out that which feels icky. Usually a clash of principles precedes long before whatever final straw eventually disfigures any friendship. I am not afraid of cutting my loses. They are worth the long term emotional dividends I end up yielding.


I am grateful for the Sun’s energy. People have complained about the long winter that skipped spring for six months only to complain about the heat. I am not that person. It’s hot. Burn me.


It’s almost 10:oo a.m. in Philadelphia and one could fry an egg on the sidewalk. Earthlings are awake, making noise, driving fast, speaking loud, some on auto-pilot to dissolve another Sunday into the many before.


Football.

Gourmet breakfast on the patio awaits, courtesy of a very good friend. Life is not perfect, today feels good.


~a.q.s.

13 responses to “Still Sundays”

  1. Lovely entry. You are right – there is that Sunday morning vibe everywhere but the “that” is markedly different in each city. It makes me want to wander my city on Sunday morning. I am betting each neighborhood has a slightly different feel, smell, texture….

    LOVELY!

    Grateful I found you through #215800

  2. John says:

    I don’t root for the US (men) in football. I don’t need a reason though I do have them. I live in a country that allows me to state my opinion. I was told I was a traitor. Nonsense. I was the happiest kid alive when the US beat the Soviet Union at Lake Placid. I served my country. The latter doesn’t make me a patriot no more than rooting for Ghana makes me a traitor. I lost some followers on Twitter. I could care less.

    I’ve never liked Philadelphia outside of the historical district of City Hall. I share the same birthday as Benjamin Franklin and he’s always been my favorite American. Naturally as a kid I’d think Philly would be this awesome place. When I got there it was very disappointing.

    Alas, I shall not end this response on such negativity and rather trivial nonsense.

    Another enjoyable read Ms Syed. I long for the day you publish your first novel which may just be Pulitzer Prize worthy. 🙂

  3. Asarul'Islam Syed MD says:

    Wow Annie! You are for sure maturing into becoming an Oliver Goldsmith. And for sure pursuing the RIGHT track… I love you.

    Abu

  4. annie says:

    @Julie Jordan Scott – Thank you! very nice to find you via #215800 looking forward to connecting. thank you for reading.

  5. annie says:

    @John – Thank you for reading. Can’t believe you lost followers for supporting ghana! wow. Twitter can be so silly. I lost followers for tweeting about worldcup period. haha!

    And thank you for generous appreciation of my writing. Coming from someone of your caliber, this means a lot. Sincere gratitude, Mr. Tanaka

  6. annie says:

    @Asarul’Islam Syed MD – Oliver Goldsmith? Of course, you would know. I am just a baby compared to the wealth of knowledge that spills out of your every sentence.

    Thank you.

  7. Citizen Z says:

    great read for a bright and hot sunday morning =)

  8. Amir says:

    I’m glad Ghana won. Not that I wasn’t rooting for the US, but this meant so much more to Ghana’s team and people. When it comes to football, for Americans, its the mentality of if we win great, if not, then oh well, back to life as normal. Football just will never be the primary sport here in America, it just won’t. But for Ghana, this means more than just one game. For them to make a deep run in their home continent is a really big deal.

    I didn’t care for all the excuses people were making about Ghana acting/stalling. I re-watched the 2nd half last night and out of the 120 minutes of play, Ghana was “stalling” for maybe 3:00. That means the US had 117 minutes to score. They had plenty of opportunities, but just didn’t cash in. Simple as that.

    I think only sore losers make excuses when they can’t accept that they were out played, out hustled, out worked and out coached. Ghana was more prepared from the opening minute and they flat out wanted it more.
    I’m proud of the US for making their run to the round of 16, but the better team won.

  9. Pearl says:

    I wanted Ghana to win so badly but I have also witnessed the American spirit on the field, the one that drives the players to fight until the very end and that is what scared me before the game! I knew the US would equalize and I knew Ghana would struggle with that for a while (the African teams in this tournament have not responded well to playing catch up).

    As for Sunday mornings, I think they generally are very calm but I bet this past Sunday was very different in South Africa!!

  10. tish says:

    in luv with “burn me.”

  11. Rochelle says:

    Beautifully written – continue to live your life like it is golden!

  12. Reading you feels free and light. Then I thought about what it is that I like so much about this post, and came to the conclusion that it is your skill of seeing depth in that which just is. And I guess no day ‘just is’ as much as Sunday

    I feel guilty when I cut people off, especially as I have a tendency to do so without telling them that I’m doing so. It starts off with intuition telling that someone seems not to have my best interest at heart, which I guess in a sense is a clash of principles as I like to think that mutual best interest is almost the point of friendship, and ends up with me increasingly avoiding them. Perhaps not the boldest way to cut someone off…
    My guilt trip also stems from the idea that what you don’t appreciate in others might be what you don’t appreciate in yourself. So, I hold on much longer than I should feeling that if I can reconcile with them I can reconcile with myself.
    To an extent.
    To an even greater extent, I believe that the exchange of energy might just not be right for the moment. Perhaps at a later stage in life, a friendship can be picked up again, which is also why I would preferably not cut someone off for good…

  13. Lindi says:

    How is it that your post so perfectly encapsulates the stillness you speak of? Football is frenetic, pulsing, and yet your words convey serenity. Beautiful 🙂

    Incidentally, I find it interesting that so many of the people commenting are speaking of “football” rather than “soccer”.