Still Sundays
August 22nd.
labels. madness which can derail you. “the feeling YOU get, I get first.” real artists know a secret. “1 in 5 people are mad.”
If you would like to know what Still Sundays is about, please take a quick gander here and just read the third paragraph. Thanks.
Last night my neighborhood was pumping with life. This morning it is sleeping like a baby. It partied too hard. It’s 1:30 p.m. and it is still drowsy.
There are articles and articles upon New York City. Some about specific neighborhoods, others about restaurants, others about the politics behind everything, and then some. They all say something different. They all say the same thing.
There is a fight over building a damn mosque in New York City. There is a flood in Pakistan. Haiti is still in shambles. I met a guy last night who told me there are parts of New Orleans which look as if Katrina happened last night.
Our collective humanity trembles but we’ll be okay as long as we dare to resolve the fight within.
Last week I dealt with a swarm of labels from various sources manufactured to contain me. Confident. Insecure. Talkative. Quiet. Conservative. Wild. Charming. Detached. Egotistical. Humble. “Nothing like a photograph.” The way I am is being analyzed. My writings are being identified with others before me. All flattering, I suppose. Not to me.
You can go mad when the world starts labeling you. It’s claustrophobic. Many people, especially those people who are even remotely in the public domain, no matter the size of the audience, self-destruct trying to combat the world’s uneducated conclusions.
I like people, even when I don’t understand them. I can’t pull a J.D. Salinger and shut myself away from the very people who remind me of some thread that I too am made of.
I am not trying to do anything extravagant that hasn’t been done before me. I just write. I owe the stories to strangers who trust me to unburden a tale that is important to them.
Real artists know a secret: I am just the conduit, there is no gift.
One of my most dearest and best friend, Erica, brought my attention to an article on Lauryn Hill awhile back. Erica is a seasoned performance artist, educator, actress, writer and founder of Spoke Inward Creative Consulting, L.L.C. Her wit and sense of humor are entertaining amongst other beautiful qualities that make her extremely attractive.
It’s a beautifully written article titled “The Many Voices of Lauryn Hill.” Lauryn Hill disappeared from public life in 1999 to present.
“For years afterward, her fans traded rumors — the prevailing theory was that she’d had some kind of breakdown […] the pressure put on her to save the hip-hop generation from itself might have broken her.”
Lauryn Hill doesn’t do interviews but somehow the interviewer finally got one with her and asked “the question her fans have been asking each other for years: Why did you stop putting out music?” She candidly responded:
“The support system that I needed was not necessarily in place. […] As musicians and artists, it’s important we have an environment […] that really nurtures these gifts.”
The interviewer asked her what is it like to sing? How does it make her feel to know the influence of her voice, her words? Lauryn Hill answered:
“The feeling that you get,” she says, “I get first. I think you have a delayed experience with the feeling that I usually get. When I have a creative insight, there is a high. I think back in the day, I made music as much as I did because it made me feel so good. I think you could argue that there is a creative addiction — but, you know, the healthy kind.”
So if my words make you feel anything—please note—“the feeling you get, I get first.” Like Marco Rojas says during his yoga class, “Are you pretending to be in the pose or are you in the pose? Are you pretending to feel or are you feeling?” I don’t pretend to feel. I feel and feel deeply and am not afraid of any of those feelings. Certain moments overwhelm me and I must quickly find an anchor. But most of the time the Vast Mystery is kind and always brings to light someone—friend, family or stranger—just at the right time to catch me when I am falling.
My mother always reminds me, “Imagine, if fill-in-the-blank musician, painter, writer, photographer wasn’t a drug addict or alcoholic or whatever other dysfunction that derailed them too soon. Just imagine how much more they could have shared with the world.”
I can imagine, mama…I really can.
Your labels and boxes only limit your experience with another. How boring.
How can we understand another when we barely understand ourself?
I have a stealth support system: my mother, Erica, Vuyo, Marjan, Lisa, Ali, Amir, PJ, Amanda, Mary, Rhonda, Chris, Tanganyika, Melissa, Tholi, Rochelle, former law professor Victor Goode, and the heaviest ammunition: my siblings. There are some other close friends without whose support and friendship I couldn’t make it—one day I will list all the names somewhere. Yes, I know. I am extremely lucky. You can go wild with that kind of luck. I plan on painting the town called Life red.
I know where to go when the world investigates under the disguise of friendship. The joke’s on you for trying to make a box to contain air. Ha. I am laughing.
I met a stranger (now a new friend) last night who said, “You have to be pretty confident in your ability to do what you have set out to do given the sacrifice required?” I had never associated confidence with sacrifice. Do you need confidence for one thing over another in order to do what it takes? Confident in the story of the manuscript? Confident others will read it? Confident I will finish it? Confident the writing is good?
I am simply certain that if I don’t put Her Sizwe on paper I will lose my mind. I don’t want to lose my mind. I want to enjoy the world with my loved ones.
Author David Weedmark wrote a post over at his website titled “One in Five Are Mad.” He wrote this after reading a news article which reported a poll that 1 in 5 people believe President Obama is a “Muslim.” He did further research on other 1 in 5 statistics and noticed a pattern: what if all these “1 in 5” are the same people? It is an insightful article. And scary. One of the possible conclusions he accurately draws is that 1 in 5 “people are going to dismiss all evidence to deny things that are easily verifiable, because it seems easier, or because someone implied that it is so” or any other reason.
When am I that “1 out of 5” person? When it comes to hope? love? earth? Aren’t we all “1 out of 5” delusional about something?
What are we going to do about our fellow “1 out of 5” human being? Can we do anything? They have a right to their beliefs—however deluded those beliefs are to another—but what if that “1 out of 5” is in a position of power?
We have yet to succeed with this “1 out of 5” person. Is educating this “1 out of 5” individual the panacea of our human condition? Are the four of us just arguing amongst ourselves instead?
Sometimes stillness brings forth a troop of queries. I am glad I am armored with Sunday.
~a.q.s.
the transformation of consciousness that allows us to know that i am no better or worse than any other being. That I simply am …who I am. Reaching your potential as a human being is more than an ideal.Its the ultimate goal….very well written still sundays
I’m inspired by the feeling, the idea of Still Sundays. I find tranquillity, rest, depth in your writing, and thank you.
And so you shall put HER SIZWE on paper. No one likes labels, no – especially limiting/negative ones. But the label of “writer” is probably just fine. And yes, one does have to be confident. In oneself. As a writer. All we can do is write the very best story we can. Then worry about the next step.
I have just returned from a long car ride while listening to those Sunday talk shows. The consensus was that only a few people (mostly in the media) keep on talking about the 1 in 5 who think Obama is a Muslim, or wasn’t born in the USA, etc, etc.
The fact is that the majority of Americans are worried about jobs, about health care, about feeding their families.
Yes, it is sad that it’s easier for a few to keep their eyes and ears closed, and their mouths wide open, while they pretend to speak for so many.
As one commenter said this morning, “It’s August, and there’s no real news. In a month, we’ll all be saying what was all THAT about?”
What a delight to find you! I love this: “Real artists know a secret: I am just the conduit, there is no gift.” It’s exactly what I say about my photographs. Not modesty, per se, but I don’t create what my camera so eloquently reports….I merely record it. This is what I live and breathe. I am the conduit. As are you. So nice to meet you, sister.
And I love your reference to the “Vast Mystery”. I’ve called it often “the Infinite” whose family include “Beauty” and “Eternity”. Vast Mystery is such an apt way to describe something which our human minds can know but not define, can see but not describe. And this is the heart of my photographs.
I shall savour your still Sundays and look forward to knowing you more.
Hugs and butterflies,
~Teresa~
How can you tell the difference between a label and a descriptive adjective? As ever, very thought-provoking and good for the mind and soul.
@AlexandraFunFit – I think a label CONCLUDES where as descriptive adjective leaves the possibilities open?
Your question is equally thought provoking so I very much appreciate you reading and asking. Thank you.
Someone I follow on twitter tweeted this. Ah the synchronicity that spurns out of twitter!
http://www.photozz.com/fizz/8212718.aspx
Hmm, I think of labels as categorizing, maybe because one of my kids is special needs, yet with no specific diagnosis, which can be a euphemism for “label.” But labels can help categorize. If the labels are used as descriptions, then I get nervous. For example, “The AIDS kid” is very limiting and is different from “The kid who has AIDS.” It’s a fine line. But both can be helpful and share information.
PS My kid has sequencing issues. I say that because people always wonder.
I think labels conclude if they add the sentiment of ‘too’ – too quiet, too talkative, too this, too that is indeed confining.
Being compared or likened to ppl more established than me provides that slight satisfaction that comes from being able to see oneself objectively. I never take it literally, but it’s interesting to get a glimpse into how one is perceived. one view into the kaleidoscopes we all are.
I reckon this also is due to my strong conviction that talent is merely an ability to be a good channeler, whether through words or other creative form. Therefore, being compared to another ‘channeler’ can’t box you hey?
Great piece,thanks for ‘getting’ it first and for being an inspiration 🙂
and yes, I’d read the Lauryn article and although it was slightly more telling than previous ones I wish her next interviewer asks more analytical questions. Lauryn’s for sure got much more to say!
Yet another thought-provoking post. And over the weekend, I read about the statistic in the Irish Times that one in five think Obama is a Muslim. I find that shocking. And I think we are all one in five delusional about something. I guess it’s hard to go through life and not be so sometimes.