Annie Q Syed

Value your friendship with the other person first and foremost. Remember it is what you make out of the relating with another. Don’t assume things. Don’t compare things. Communicate and respect each others’ opinions. Always keep in mind HOW things can be worked…without quitting one another…unfortunately, Western media has colored relationships as all sweet and honey with no issues or simply as bitter with conflicts.

Human beings will always stay bonded if they are governed by similar ideologies and a similar value system, despite the fights and conflicts.

Mama said to my aunt who was over for brunch earlier today, “They* are all Peter Pans when they step in this house. Maximum age is twelve.”

This is in reference to a ‘noise’ they heard–which would be me screaming with joy like a five year old might upon his or her first sight of a caterpillar. I was just too happy to find the ‘right word.’

It is challenging not to halt the thoughtflow when writing when one is looking for the right word. It feels especially difficult to me because, in my view, the English language is one of the most limited when it comes to expressing certain sentiments. Perhaps therein lies its beauty: it is rare when you can say something exactly how you mean it, let alone express how you feel it.

*”They” is  not just a reference solely to me or any of the other siblings (docked here for a bit or just visiting for a weekend) but ANYone of ANY age that comes through our door. The tallest Peter Pan being our father.

Viladah
(Arabic for birth)

So I had a near death experience. What follows is not the usual how you should make the most of every moment in life because it may be your last (I have never known how else to live even prior to this experience), or life is precious (learnt that when I was six and saw a flock  of sparrows carry the limp sparrow which had fallen from a tree), or there is a God after all (I could comfortably communicate with a Higher Being before I was taught how to pray in any language), or I had an epiphany (I am introspective enough  to have one a day). Below is merely an account of my thoughts, as much as I can accurately recall them, before what I thought were my last seconds on this Earth.

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Mama says that she doesn’t know many “guaranteed facts” of life but this: whatever you do not appreciate or are ungrateful for God/Universe takes from you.  She wants to make sure I understand she is not talking about death–this is not that conversation. She says what she is referring to is blessings–material or through the caring of another.  She says this is especially true when it comes to love in any form with any one in any type of relating. By love she means caring, sharing, and all forms that we know for a fact are not an abstraction but tangible mediums. She says love is an exchange of energy; it has to “go further”…it can’t just be held in a vacuum or in a thought. Love must be nurtured to grow.

She says it is not necessarily God’s way of punishing a person for being indifferent or dismissive for taking away what we are not grateful for. But because what is given must be taken care of, appreciated—be it a car, a roof on your head, a plant, a cloth–but especially love.

As I sit here and type the above she is now calling me to come have breakfast. She says I can do this later. “Food, sleep, dreams and love can’t wait. Everything else can.”  I tell her it is her fault–I am typing out some words for my “soul packers”–friends who would appreciate what she said this morning–friends who refer to my mother as a “ball of glow.”  So she agrees:  I have five more minutes to type. “But no editing,” she adds sternly,  knowing I can edit one sentence for hours (she speaks with such loving intentions that the word “sternly” is a misuse really but I am typing fast and hence will stick with it). I explain this is just a post which is similar to emailing ‘The List’  and not a writing piece I am working on. She doesn’t get the difference but she nods anyway.

She handed me this quote last night when I told her that true yoga bliss happens when we stretch and twist to arenas we couldn’t have imagined ourselves capable:

“…the act of extending one’s limits implies effort. One extends one’s limits only be exceeding them, and exceeding limits requires effort. When we love someone our love becomes demosntrable or real only through our exertion–through the fact that for that someone (or for yourself) we take an extra step or walk an extra mile. Love is not efforltess… the desire to  love is not itslef love…Love is as love does…an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We chose to love…” ~ The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck.