Annie Q Syed » the examined life

“The Beauty Myth”

annie — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:24:55 +0000

Mama says it is to men’s advantage to recognize the reservoir of strength that is a woman (regardless of a man’s sexual preference). But in order to achieve this, she says, it demands a lot of deconstruction which begins by looking beyond a woman’s physical appearance and a man’s attachments to conscious and unconscious roles she is supposed to play. But that deconstruction can begin only when a woman is able to see herself beyond her physical appearance. She also says that unfortunately the stereotypes that exist about women exist because majority of the women are not strong enough to break them. If you look a certain way, you must be flirtatious. If you have ambition, you must be needy ...

Some Persistent Desire For What Is Still Possible

annie — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 17:09:32 +0000

I wrote the following inside a card I am giving to a new kindred friend (the card is sealed so I am recalling to the best of my ability): You know I know things. Also let’s not forget my untamable imagination. And then the dreams, the galaxy of answers and questions. Yet, despite all that, I could have neither dreamt nor imagined nor even consciously wished to have had our paths cross. So much we don’t know.

Of course that was just an extravagant way to begin describing the gratitude I feel for having this individual as part of my life now. I seldom bring people I consider good friends to my ‘inner circle’ of friends, but when I ...

“how are you?”: Maya Angelou on “Telling Truth”

annie — Sat, 14 May 2011 16:38:01 +0000

In a recent conversation I said, “I allow whatever needs to find me, find me. Or else there is no end to the search of ‘what else is there?’ It’s been like this ever since I was a young girl.”

This took me back to a letter I wrote in February 2009 to my closest friends via email. At the time I was living at home in California on my parents’ farmhouse, half-way through my year long hiatus from New York City, and friends sincerely wanted to know “How are you?”. Although I did not quite answer that question, I did share something relevant.

I share the email-letter below, only partly edited.

~a.q.s.

~~~~~~

My father has ...

Soccer In Sun And Shadow

annie — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 00:31:03 +0000

I am drooling over a new book I just bought: Soccer in Sun and Shadow by Eduardo Galeano.

You can read more about the book here. Having read only a few pages I highly recommend it. The writing is delicious and moves along easy.

He writes, “Years have gone by and I’ve finally learned to accept myself for who I am: a beggar for good soccer. I go about the world, hand outstretched, and in the stadiums I plead: ‘A pretty move, for the love of God.’ And when good soccer happens, I give thanks for the miracle and I don’t give a damn which team or country performs it.”

“The history of soccer is ...

10 (personal) life lessons to UNlearn

annie — Tue, 04 May 2010 05:29:40 +0000

My list is inspired after having read and digested Martha Beck’s astute and insightful list. You can read the elaborated version here, but in sum she suggests unlearning the following life lessons:

Problems are bad. It’s important to stay happy. I’m irreparably damaged by my past. Working hard leads to success. Success is the opposite of failure. It matters what people think of me. We should think rationally about our decisions. The pretty girls get all the good stuff. If all my wishes came true right now, life would be perfect. Loss is terrible.

Building on the aforementioned, I am unlearning:

1. Friends who “understand” your goals or dreams “support” you. Support here means ...

A Sense of Meaning & Purpose In Social Media

annie — Mon, 03 May 2010 21:37:41 +0000

There is no question for most of us if we are going to live a connected life, use cell phones, read blogs, and engage on social networks. The real question is how are we going to do so?

Shared by Soren Gordhammer, author of Wisdom 2.0 Conference

The Tale of the Zen Master and the Chess Game

There once lived a young man who was very sad and unsatisfied. He went to visit a Zen temple, thinking this may help.

“You must know that I am quite useless,” the boy explained upon meeting the Zen master of the temple. “I have never committed myself to anything for any length of time, and I have no real skills. But ...

Authenticity Redux

annie — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 04:30:04 +0000

The five articles below came from five different sources. All today! If you actually browse them you will think I was doing a research on this topic!

Talk about synchronicity! Perhaps my conscious and unconscious querying is reflective of the state of affairs all over…so that would constitute as a subliminal research of sorts…and this means the virtual world is headed towards the emergence of a new wave of online connecting…or maybe that is just my wishful thinking…

For the last week I have been wondering all these thoughts and questions that are addressed in the articles below.

Specifically, given my gliding in cyberspace is not even a year old, I am learning that people are not ‘authentic’ to ...

Almond Sprout Potential

annie — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 01:18:36 +0000

The word soul comes from old English word “sawol” which used to stand for “spiritual and emotional part of a person, animate existence.” Sometimes said to mean originally “coming from or belonging to the sea,” because that was supposed to be the stopping place of the soul before birth or after death.

The Arabic word for soul is Ruh or Ruah (pronounced rhhhhoooooooooo). It is the seed within ourselves that we must develop and nurture. It involves giving and learning. My father has always said that the reward for developing your Ruh is in this lifetime –you don’t have to wait to go to heaven or an after life to see what you are reaping for what you are sowing. ...

The Reconstruction Of Male-Female Relations In Developing Nations And Its Implications For Nation Building

annie — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 22:11:12 +0000

Disclaimer: Although there exist exceptions to all types of generalizations and stereotypes, they remain exceptions; therefore, until the exceptions stand out to the extent that they defy the rule, the majority determines the actuality. That being said, I am grateful to know some anomalies who also happen to be my friends who are exceptional beacons for their communities and countries. Moreover, this article is at best a prologue to a possible research paper in need of further substantiating research.

Much to my mother’s delight I will probably never pay for another manicure (she is rather frugal) unless an exceptional “occasion” calls for it. My most recent stay in Johannesburg in 2009 forced me to clip, file, buff, (including that whole ...

Time for US Revolution

annie — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 04:47:00 +0000
Time for US Revolution–Fifteen Reasons by Bill Quigley
“We as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a “thing oriented” society to a “person oriented” society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism and militarism are incapable of being conquered.” ~ Rev. MLK Jr.

Excellent article.
Related posts:
Faith research article on compassionate love. Permanent Visitor

Part 4 of 4: Permanently Damaged Autopilot

annie — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:29:24 +0000

Where? What? When? How? Next? Shedding light onto the most recent frequently asked questions from my closest friends to every other person…

Being temporarily back in NYC for the last two weeks I have had to accept (again!) that I remain and will remain childishly enamored with the City, not to mention I miss the amazing people I call my friends and every nook and cranny of my neighborhood. Frankly, I don’t think I can ever “leave” NYC–it’s a lost cause; I am obsessed with the city. However, Africa and Asia are not a phase, an escape, or motivated by a desire to “save” whatever is going on there–much work needs to be done in the United States as well.
...

Part 3 of 4: “All The King’s Horses and All The King’s Men…”

annie — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:20:30 +0000

Where? What? When? How? Next? Shedding light onto the most recent frequently asked questions from my closest friends to every other person…

In 2005 before I began law school we were required to finish the 800 page assigned reading, A Simple Justice, by a Pulitzer-Prize winning journalist. It is the story of Brown v. Board of Education. Yes, 800 pages long! Some read it, some did not. Some did not want to admit they read it and enjoyed it! I couldn’t put it down—if history was written with this much diligence and passionate research I would have majored in History instead of English in college! I bring this up to share a quote by Charles Houston (creator of Howard Law ...

Part 2 of 4: The Matrix Was Not Just A Movie.

annie — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:15:45 +0000

Where? What? When? How? Next? Shedding light onto the most recent frequently asked questions from my closest friends to every other person…

It was not about the blue or the red pill. I had swallowed the harder one—which ever damn pill clears the film on what we call our reality—a long time ago. Enlightenment does not mean transcending or escaping into another world. The human structure in which we have to carry our spiritual experience remains the same. Having left the matrix after my law clerkship was over, I had done the unfathomable: I had moved home! My lifeboat hanging by a string on the only safe harbor I knew to begin carving out a lifestyle I envisioned. “Going back ...

Part 1 of 4 : “Burn All Ships”

annie — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:10:49 +0000

Where? What? When? How? Next? Shedding light onto the most recent frequently asked questions from my closest friends to every other person…

When my brother Zain and I were younger (five and seven respectively), still living in the Middle East, my father told us this true story of a man named Tariq Bin Ziyad. We would lie on top of the roof of our house, connecting stardust sparkles in the sky covering the vast Arabian Desert, and listen to our father tell yet another story, never knowing if the story about the mermaid that sang underwater for her long lost lover was part of history or myth. All stories are real when you are that young.

Tariq bin Ziyad, ...

Capitalism versus Open Society

annie — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 05:39:11 +0000

The following is a transcript of a lecture given by George Soros at Central European University on October 29, 2009.

Statements that deeply resonated with me are in bold if you don’t care to read through the entire thing. Mr. Soros is an inspiration and simply brilliant.

Thanks, ~a.q.s.

Today I want to explore the conflict between capitalism and open society, market values and social values. I am going to approach the subject indirectly, by first introducing a phenomenon that has attracted my attention only recently, but has assumed such importance in my thinking that I could almost call it the fourth pillar of my conceptual framework. That phenomenon is the principal-agent problem.

Agents are supposed ...

know these people?

annie — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 04:51:02 +0000

There are five kinds of people THAT DRIVE US NUTS! We have all met them in some form or another. Well, now we have a name for them!

This is by far one of the most brilliant articles I have read by Martha Beck. Enjoy!

Related posts:
Authenticity Redux research article on compassionate love.

Amazing Sy Safranksky of The Sun Magazine

annie — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 06:49:04 +0000

From “Sy Safranksky’s Notebook”: February 2010, The Sun.

Just beautiful.
Related posts:
Soccer In Sun And Shadow Almond Sprout Potential Following your heart and sacrifice

to mean or not to mean

annie — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 19:32:00 +0000

A friend of mine who is a “closet believer” and “open atheist” says there is NO meaning in anything. So, pretty much most of what I write (creative or posting of others’ articles) is a sham to him.

It doesn’t really get heated or anything when we talk or discuss because neither has a desire to “convert” the other. Besides, he is more judgmental of my finding “meaning” than I am about his belief system or lack there of one. Judgment is morally charged. But for a very few incidents where I have given in, I strive to practice discernment. My curiosity for a person’s particular choices, actions, etc. always trumps my judgment.

Anyway–my point is–there is much we don’t ...

research article on compassionate love.

annie — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 06:10:45 +0000
We suggest that compassionate love may be a love that recognizes the partner’s specific positive and negative qualities, while simultaneously affirming the partner’s overall worth. Purely romantic love, in contrast, may be defined as love that glorifies the partner without understanding the partner’s specific qualities.

that love thing

annie — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 10:12:51 +0000
To love is a beautiful, mysterious event; do not miss it. Be neither too cautious nor too absorbed. Too many of us reason with our hearts and experience with our heads. It can not be so. The heart knows no logic beyond need and desire; the head has no senses except the common and the pragmatic. Neither, frankly, is particularly useful in love, anyway. Rely on your sixth sense, that little voice within. There is no preparation or protection from the joy and pain of relationships. They are inseparable twins. One follows another. And make no mistake: love is not gay abandon; it is to be courageous, to take risks, and to be disciplined.
I thought about ...

Following your heart and sacrifice

annie — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 11:06:54 +0000

I mentioned in the story “The End” how a man named Orian asked me, “Can you develop your full potential without sacrificing? Whatever those sacrifices might mean, involving whoever?”

I came upon this by pure serendipity! If Orian–any Orian–ever wants to know the answer, to the extent below, I hope he finds this. I will expand on it as I understand it better.

By Paulo Coelho

“I am willing to give up everything”, said the prince to the master. “Please accept me as your disciple.”

“How does a man choose his path?” asked the master.

“Through sacrifice,” answered the prince. “A path which demands sacrifice, is a true path.”

The master bumped into some shelves. A precious vase ...

2010: Sublime Flux

annie — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 08:47:47 +0000

Everyone has something profound to say once they have “made it,” whatever that “making it” may entail for that individual—making a certain amount of money, buying one house or many, getting married, having children or seeing them happily married, degree(s), fame, promotion, “security”, fill-in-the-blank. I want to talk about when you feel so far from “making it” that you can’t even spell it! I want to point at the stream of cataclysms of the betwixt and between. Events, one right after another, which lead you to finally conclude that life is really just that: one big transition. Death might be the only full stop—the rest of life is a series of commas, semi-colons, and any other punctuation point of your ...

Who is an “American”? Who is an “African”?

annie — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 10:52:41 +0000

South Africa, with or without the awareness required by majority of its citizens on this topic, is silently defining who is an “African”…

These two articles are befitting the age old discussion: what does it mean to be an American…

and what I discovered this time around in S.A.: what does it mean to be an African…given the xenophobia against Africans from other countries…

Africa 2009: Identity, Citizenship, and Nation Building by M. Mawere

and from the Christmas 2009 Edition of The Economist:

Going to America: The Greatest Strength About America Is That People Want To Live Here
Related posts:
Permanent Visitor Authenticity Redux Time for US Revolution Part 2 of 4: The Matrix Was Not Just A Movie.