Annie Q Syed » relating

Still Sundays

annie — Sun, 20 May 2012 18:03:44 +0000

May 20, 2012.

Today: New Moon; Solar Eclipse.

It almost feels predetermined but Albert Camus’ words came to mind nonetheless: “benign indifference of the Universe”.

It is not a surprise that I woke up thinking about Albert Camus since I fell asleep while reading his words last night.

This Sunday morning’s energy is some light in water that doesn’t move quite as you expect.

Due to travels I have been mostly unplugged. I haven’t even had time to “tweet” that I have no time to tweet. This amused me. How strange is this social media trip that constantly makes us feel as if something is happening when nothing is happening?!

Writing today feels like it once did: only a few ...

Mama. Mothers. And Other Days.

annie — Sun, 13 May 2012 15:35:42 +0000

May 13, 2012.

Still Sundays

I’ve always liked the time before dawn

because there’s no one around to remind me who I’m supposed to be,

so it’s easier to remember who I am.

~ Story People.

My friend am(Erica) sent me the aforementioned quote earlier this week. She knows that once it is finally summer I prefer to start the day quite early on Sundays. However, I believe and know, with enough practice we can carry Dawn with us throughout the day and anywhere.

I am grateful for the sun after what seems like weeks of cold rain and windy clouds in New York City. We skipped right ...

Still Sundays

annie — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 13:31:55 +0000

April 29th, 2012.

It is so very quiet this Sunday morning. Partly because no one knows how to react to the fact that it is still winter in New York City and we are one day away from May. Compared to Friday the weather is supposed to be a little more “spring-like” this Sunday. Maybe spring has always been a myth. An ideal that doesn’t exist. Or when it does we only see a day or two of it. A tiny reflection of what is possible on this earth—some divine weather—if we don’t mess with nature.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My work-in-progress manuscript has been stalled for a little over a year now. Of course in that time I wrote other ...

A Still Sunday with Love

annie — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 16:47:54 +0000

April 22, 2012.

Mirror Mirror on Stillness’s wall which Sunday is the truest of them all?

Last Sunday I was swimming in the lakes of nostalgia for certain places and this Sunday the present is all I could ever hope for.

Nostalgia, I hope you like the caricature we have created of you, a doodle of escapism framed in fad.

When I am nostalgic about certain places and times, it is without longing to “go back” unless I am desirous of being imaginative and want to go “back in time” to a period in which I was never born or participated. My nostalgia is more an impromptu tribute to all things for which there are no photos or words.

...

We could think what we wanted…

annie — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 17:34:44 +0000

I came home to grab lunch since my parents are here (well, right now on their way out to JFK for their trip to Turkey…they arrived late last night from California…unfortunately, not a long stay, but it will be a little longer on their way back from Turkey).

I told them this small story and said I didn’t have time to tweet share with folks. It’s been a whirlwind few days…all filled with magic and joy…but still a bit too fast…

They asked I write it down somewhere. And since this is the most organized space I know as compared to what is on and underneath my desk and shelves, here it goes…

This morning in the number 2 subway ...

Still Sundays

annie — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 16:02:24 +0000

April 1, 2012.

April fool’s day. Yes, let’s have a worldwide recognition day to reflect that we are all such fools. We know so little and therefore we have so many experts of Knowing!

I want the weather gods to say, “Just Joking!” I want to hear It is all just a hoax that it is December temperatures in April. There is no global warming heading to an ice age. “Please laugh already!” I want to hear from the cold front that lasts longer and longer each month every passing year. I don’t want historians to describe in words “what was once known as Spring”; I want future generations to be able to experience it. Somewhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday ...

My father on Sharia law & art; Social Media, the snake oil of our times

annie — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 23:34:33 +0000

February 26, 2011

Still Sundays.

There is fair weather, great weather, and then weather I simply categorize as Wrath of the Universe.

New York City’s weather yesterday was some Wrath of the Universe.

The weather in New York City feels like a curse from the Universe right now. Did winter come late this year?

I know my mother is right and I am not supposed to take it personally. It is just winter. It doesn’t have a personal vendetta against me. It will pass like all the years before. But I do take it personally. In my vocabulary the word cold doesn’t suffice…only wrath of the universe makes sense. I know there are those who love winter ...

Still Sundays

annie — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:14:01 +0000

February 19, 2012.

I ate a lot of Internet this weekend. I justified it because I ate healthy and kosher. The meat of the articles was halal. Fresh sources, great nutritional articles, lots of juice for thought. And I usually don’t eat meat: I had not browsed through any of my feeds or online journals in over a week. As is often with most things that happen to me, I had tapped in to the momentum exactly at the right time.

The right place, the right time, the wrong me.

I gathered that social media is going through some mid-life crisis. I thought Internet was only a baby. Don’t you first have to grow up, live (or more accurately not ...

Love like…

annie — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 02:27:42 +0000

February 12th, 2012.

Love like my parents. Love like yoga.

I like when I re-read something that I wrote and I find it is still accurate and applicable at large. A favorite t-shirt that never gets old. This brings me immense joy and surprise. Somehow it makes me feel I caught the hand of Time and danced to a short tune barely audible. I don’t feel this way towards most of my fiction attempts. Not yet anyway. I am deaf and Time mute when it comes to fiction. Then I am humbled: authors who passed the test of Time were indeed some gods.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes don’t make natural tears as easily anymore. I have to put ...

Still Sundays

annie — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 23:58:42 +0000

February 5th, 2012.

The super bowl of social media and creativity.

I woke up thinking about Wednesday this morning. As if Wednesday was a person I knew.

This last Wednesday was a chaotic morning and no amount of breathing was going to lift me out of the mushroom of frenzy.

Usually calm and steady, on Wednesday morning I was agitated and hyper sensitive to noise. I always try to see what is the longest amount of time I can go without plugging into music with my headphones. This time even music didn’t help. People rushing to some grand nowhere. I joined them to head to one of the most dilapidated parts of New York City. Poverty has a smell ...

A Still Sunday Night

annie — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 03:54:21 +0000

January 29, 2011.

Stillness bypassed my Sunday morning like a breeze you don’t notice because you are out of breath. Except I was in deep sleep breathing. I woke up long after stillness had closed its canteen. Although I realize Stillness is everywhere and available anytime and it is up to us to reach into the hive and retrieve any amount of nectar, certain moments feel like a red carpet walk to the doorway of Stillness. Sunday mornings are such a walk. After noon the zone is narrow even if you are a devout Stillness practioner.

I gave myself permission to sleep in and allow the body to recover. Everything about the status quo seems contrary to how we ...

Still Sundays

annie — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 18:38:33 +0000

January 22nd 2012.

Biko. Coltrane. My father. Coleridge. Marquez.

Writing when you are under the weather is like talking in your sleep. Nothing makes sense; it all makes sense.

It is a Steve Biko kind of Sunday: “I write what I like.”

New York City is under the weather too. It snowed yesterday.

I read a post by a talented photographer in Finland, Annika Ruohonen, this morning titled “January in Finland.” So this is Finland in January I said aloud without realizing. Maybe my heavy head thought I was using “inside” voices when I was not. I tried leaving a short comment but due to computer glitches, password itches, the comment was lost as was the moment ...

Still Sundays: Shakti and Ibn Sina

annie — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 19:57:49 +0000

It is a new year after all.

Makes me wonder about all those other “new” years. I never felt they were new per se so it wasn’t that I got duped the last decade with the habitual hype at the end of the year. It is just that I couldn’t participate as authentically as I would have liked because I knew better in my bones. But this year is finally new.

new | n(y)oō |

adjective

1. not existing before; made, introduced, or discovered recently or now for the first time

2. already existing but seen, experienced, or acquired recently or now for the first time

3. just beginning and regarded as better than what went before

The word new ...

A Still Sunday, particularly today.

annie — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 21:21:51 +0000

December 25, 2011.

on criticism, on friendships come & gone, Keats & soul-making.

New York City is asleep although I have been awake for some time.

Silence is that music where we become instruments.

I have never experienced Stillness and silence this grand in New York City as this Sunday.

This is my first Christmas holiday and New Year’s Eve in New York City despite having lived here for over a decade. Usually I have always been “home” this time of the year, whatever that has meant: sometimes Lahore, other times Johannesburg or Durban, most often a farmhouse, my parents’, in California.

Last night I experienced New York City in a whole new manner. I understood why it is ...

Still Sundays

annie — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 22:24:53 +0000

December 18, 2011.

Herman Hesse’s Demian. “Tug on Anything at all…” A fortune-teller who could tell all but one thing.

It’s not easy to leave New York City. A stranger-friend, an Italian Ph.D. student, must return to Italy tomorrow as her yearlong fellowship is finally over. And she is not ready. I don’t think those who come to New York City for anything but an idea can ever leave that idea behind. At worst we carry that idea that is New York City with us wherever we go. At best, we return again. And again.

Love is a hard idea to give up.

What will she miss the most, I asked her? She held back tears and replied, The ...

Still Sundays

annie — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 19:07:18 +0000

December 11, 2011.

What is art without vision, then?; Symmetry Breaking; Darren K. Woods on his passion for opera; Music to My Ears.

I was immersed in life to my fullest capacity the last two Sundays. Every cell felt like a sponge for Stillness, joy, love, warmth, observations, growth…

There comes a point when living and experiencing catch a momentum faster than one can share through any medium. I believe that’s when the real challenge begins for one who has decided to undertake being an artist.

We are all creative (some more talented or innately gifted than others); however, not all are artists.

Art without vision is creative stimulation for pleasure. In order to have a vision you have ...

Occupy Stillness. Viktor Frankl: the challenge of potential meaning to fulfill

annie — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 19:41:54 +0000

November 20, 2011.

Still Sundays.

The New York City skyline never gets old.

I am getting older; I like it.

Love too never gets old.

This month is over, this year is over, my obsession with time, truth, and love continues.

What do I want to be when I grow up? A writer? A doctor? A teacher? A lawyer? A writer? This time I get to decide how I want to be, not who based on what.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

People have recurring dreams. I don’t.

My latest obsession is putting into words this “recent” dream: I am in a field of teal colored dragonflies. They are everywhere. The field is on the edge of a horizon or so ...

“Fartists”, Light triumphs, Grow!Grow!Grow!

annie — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 19:46:28 +0000

Still Sundays.

November 13, 2011.

Stillness is a guardian angel.

That being said, on days where the frozen wind in New York City feels like the wrathy breathing of some evil gods, I do yell aloud, forgetting all I know about seasons, climate, and weather, “God you can’t be real! Because no one in his or her right mind would actually create a day this cold!”

Yet so far November feels like early spring. Will March then be like early winter? Maybe winter has never been that long after all? Climate change is changing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do I know without a doubt this Sunday morning as this calendar year is almost over?

Light triumphs. Again and again ...

to really understand is divine

annie — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 22:37:50 +0000

Still Sundays.

November 6th.

No matter how many times I write about New York City it is not enough. Not enough for me and not enough for those who just don’t see what I see.

Rage is a bull and I am a champion rider who neither tires easily nor plans on retiring. At best I can tame the beast with humor. But I find cynicism easy and eventually boring; therefore, I take whatever it is that I don’t understand by the horns: the spleen wants to spit.

That being said I never write when I am angry. I can create a fury of words that can dissolve the deads’ bones, but actually write?—never. I don’t even “journal” such thoughts ...

Still Sundays

annie — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 18:02:55 +0000

October 30th.

Enjoying New York City despite the winters. Truth. Social Media and this Age of Inspiration.

The day before yesterday was a golden Fall day in New York City: sunny, bright, crisp, and filled with sunbeams shooting around every other autumn leave.

Yesterday winter came unannounced like an unexpected cavity that really should be no surprise. The snowstorm was not pretty: the sleet a constant sleazy nose drip. The snow was only “pure, pretty, and white” here and there, perhaps to create a fantasy of loveliness for those who are not here via photos taken from mobile devices. Sometimes we are able to alter our reality only if someone else believes our perception of it. If you had ...

The Granny Who Knew Time.

annie — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 16:56:53 +0000

Still Sundays.

October 23rd.

This Sunday I want to share Stillness with another all day long. I’ll take Stillness in any form but it is some fiesta when there is two (or more) to honor the muchness of nothing but together.

When we were growing up and even now when we all gather at our parents’ farmhouse Stillness serves as a blanket as well as a straw. In the hours of the morning everyone sits in the living room to have meaningless conversations—”No one really wears socks that color with a suit!”—to a profound statement thrown into the living-room air like a boomerang: “One can’t truly articulate actual self-realization.”

It’s as if the morning Stillness over the holidays and Sundays ...

Love, like New York City, is an Idea…

annie — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:21:00 +0000

Still Sundays.

October 16th.

I am writing from a new place this Sunday morning.

When you say something like that in New York City, you more often than not mean it quite literally.

I am not in my own neighborhood or even inside my apartment. I am in the Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood around 44th and 9th avenue. I don’t live here; I had to return my rental car this morning around the corner. When I woke up this morning I almost forgot I had even rented a car to go out of the City to attend a wedding this weekend. The only reason I remembered is because I realized I am out of tea and coffee and maybe I ...

self-existing magic of things

annie — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 16:49:44 +0000

Still Sundays

October 9th.

Filmmaker Nathaniel Dorsky on “self-existing magic of things” and more. Your talent is a body. Marc Jacobs on innovation.

I find myself intellectually incapable to accept any of the etymologies offered behind “Indian Summer” and google’s curation of history doesn’t satisfy.

October is a solid indigo night, made for returning and leaving at the same time.

Autumn in New York is the muse for so many jazz compositions because only music can capture an indigo night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday I saw a film by Nathaniel Dorsky who has been making and exhibiting films within the avant-garde tradition since 1964. His works have bee shown internationally in museums and theatres and are in the ...

To balance upside down in the dark

annie — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 16:49:57 +0000

Long before the yoga studio where I have to be a member in order to attend Marco Rojas’s classes hopped on board with “blindfolded yoga” as the newest yoga trend, Marco used to teach yoga with eyes closed. He began this because one particular time during class he had a sight-impaired student. Marco decided that we should all experience the poses with our eyes closed.

The first time I experienced yoga with my eyes closed, I cheated. I didn’t trust myself. What if I was on someone else’s mat? What if I fell? What if I was doing everything wrong? Out of respect for Marco I stopped peeking and shut my eyes for good, and because I trusted him as ...

Still Sundays

annie — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 16:40:56 +0000

September 18th

Although there is much to be written this Sunday morning, yarns of thoughts are spinning by themselves around the needle of stillness, I just want to observe and gather some more.

It has been a very full week, more eventful than my typical weeks, and although Sunday puts it together, however fragmented, I am going to need much more time for this week.

Next Sunday I will wake up earlier than I did today to feel Stillness exhale on my skin instead of my gasping for it this morning. Today I slept in Stillness and awoke to the sudden announcement that it is cold and Autumn has arrived although the colors of Fall haven’t quite made it yet.

...