Still Sundays

September 18th

Although there is much to be written this Sunday morning, yarns of thoughts are spinning by themselves around the needle of stillness, I just want to observe and gather some more.

It has been a very full week, more eventful than my typical weeks, and although Sunday puts it together, however fragmented, I am going to need much more time for this week.

Next Sunday I will wake up earlier than I did today to feel Stillness exhale on my skin instead of my gasping for it this morning. Today I slept in Stillness and awoke to the sudden announcement that it is cold and Autumn  has arrived although the colors of Fall haven’t quite made it yet.

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Every now and then I get emails from people who trust me enough to share their dreams with me. Sometimes it is a dream that somehow involves  me and other times it is a dream that has nothing to do with me. Sometimes an individual will ask, no different than when they meet me in person if the context calls for it, what does some dream mean.

We understand our dreams to the extent we understand events when we are awake.

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A friend of mine has met a new love and they are beginning a new journey that demands effort and commitment to explore this space of love. I am very happy for them. I also know love alone is not enough. Every time I say that aloud a voice from somewhere whispers if it is really love it is always enough.

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I read once that “Paradox is a beloved of novelists.” I am not sure to what extent, if any, paradox is to be celebrated in personal relationships. The man who loves a woman but can’t express so, is a great story and a truth that resonates with many, but to the man and woman who live with that paradox daily it is another story.

It is hard to really live. Most are just making excuses for their perceptions. It is indeed possible to create an entire reality out of mere perceptions. What is reality after all but a perception?

“We only know what’s real in the now,” repeats Marco Rojas, my yoga instructor, every time during class.

I think all conflicts arise when there is a clash of perceptions and there’s a dismantling of one person’s reality.

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I was re-reading an excerpt from Carl Jung’s biography that resonates deeply with my writing and living process that I leave, or take into, today’s Stillness:

The meaning of my existence is that life has addressed a question to me. Or, conversely, I myself am a question which is addressed to the world, and I must communicate my answer, for otherwise I am dependent upon the world’s answer. That is a suprapersonal life task, which I  accomplish only by effort and with difficulty.  […] I also think of the possibility  that through the achievement of an individual a question enters the world, to which he must provide some kind of answer.

I am also thinking about this one Sunday when I wrote about lavender dreams… I thought I had written those thoughts in Fall…but I guess that is because it was as chilly in April as it is right now in September…

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