yoga versus yoga: my obiter dicta

“I came to yoga not on a journey of personal transformation, but because I put my back out and couldn’t sit comfortably in a chair,” begins Claire Dederer in an article, “My Truce With Yoga” in the October issue of Whole Living magazine.

I timely came across this article that sheds light on the 6 billion dollar yoga industry. I share some excerpts that highlight my concerns:

 I thought yoga was for self-indulgent, middle-aged ladies with time on their hands, or for fanatical vegetarian former gymnasts.

As I researched studios around Seattle, I noticed that yoga came in a dizzying array of flavors and strengths, often at opposite ends of a spiritual spectrum. At some studios, akin to stylish gyms, hip-hop music blared, the vibe was ravelike, and students went for the “burn.” […] On an entirely different yoga planet were more sober, spirituality-infused studios, often called shalas, where incense burned, practioners earnestly changed, and bronze elephant statuettes gazed out from an ornately decorated altar. In these serene spaces, teachers often said dreamy, incomprehensible things like, “The om travels through the chakras.”

Who’s got it right, the soccer mom who takes power vinyasa at the gym in head-to-toe Lululemon, or the vegan purist who wears hemp and has her own guru in India?

Called the ‘yoga wars’ by some media outlets, and spawning headlines such as “Who Owns Yoga?”, the controversy has pitted spiritually minded devotees against nontraditional, fitness-focused enthusiasts.

Indeed, even if you do yoga just for the physical rewards (which studies indicate may include lower blood pressure, better circulation, and improved pain tolerance), you maybe getting more spiritual benefits than you realize.

 

I think the last sentence from the aforementioned article is one of the many reasons students continue to return to Marco Rojas although they may not realize that’s why or may not be comfortable to admit so.

The other week someone assumed I must be flexible because I practice yoga. I neither confirmed nor denied. If I had replied I would have said that actually being very flexible can be dangerous in yoga unless you have muscular strength too. I wanted to say so much more but I realize the world runs on assumptions.

The other month someone asked me if I wrote about Marco Rojas because he has become a familiar name in NYC.

I began writing about him because I needed to understand what was happening and sometimes writing helps me do that. I decided to put it on my website so perhaps others too could relate if they had such instructors or experiences. Few of the many people who consistently attend Marco Rojas’ classes, who took the time to read what I had written, told me that they very much relate to all that I have articulated so far. But I realize the world runs on assumptions.

The yoga wars—which style is really “true” yoga to what does it really mean to practice to the rising costs of studios—will continue as the yoga trend comes and goes every five to seven years. People will continue to approach yoga with their assumptions based on what they have read depending on where the trend is.

Therefore this personal essay constitutes my final say on yoga and Marco Rojas (for a while). I have no desire to be a “yoga essayist”. All that I have shared about him so far has been with the hopes that even those who do not practice yoga or have access to him or an instructor like him can take something from what he says and not just about my experiences.

Yoga means to yoke, to connect. For me it is an attempt to bring opposing energies, both equally valid and necessary (for example, fearful versus carefree and how it doesn’t have to mean afraid or careless) as one. It aligns the body parts which allows for a dialogue with the body. Most people incorrectly think new things just happen.  It demands discipline so as to experience something new every time. This in turn creates the space for freedom where you can listen to yourself better and therefore can hear others better too. And finally to always stay close to what really matters: your heart.

Here it is…

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A trance is defined as a half-conscious state characterized by an absence of response to external stimuli, typically as induced by hypnosis or entered by a medium.

But what if there was a “trance” where you are acutely conscious, to the extent you can “see” things with crystal clarity, due to internal stimuli induced by physical alignment?  That is what is possible during and after Marco Rojas’ yoga classes if you have a consistent practice.

Let me begin from the beginning of my journey to attempt to answer how is the yoga in Marco Rojas’ classes so different. So different that he is in magazine articles and even news is now following him. So different that I have overheard management exclaim: “Why is it that he can do no wrong?” So different that he has almost become a yogi outlaw not just a rock star guru.

When I first began yoga I was hesitant to tell others I practiced yoga despite it being the “in” thing. The more I practiced the more frequent this reservation became. I felt no different than someone who is cautious before sharing with others that they do recreational drugs or are in therapy. A large part of this was due to having discovered an instructor named Marco Rojas. But prior to discovering him my primary conflict was that I felt there was not enough time to accurately elaborate when asked the simple question: so do you work out? No (I practice yoga because I don’t like ‘working out’)…but yes (it is a harder work out than any I have ever done, even when I was in athletics)…but no (it is not the “hot yoga” where you go so you can simply sweat), but yes (I sweat till I am blinded by the stream on my face)…

Yes…no…yes…no…yes… I felt like I was in a relationship and didn’t want to announce or define the commitment. Had I become one of those people? You know those people: “Yes life is falling apart so thank you for the invitation to join you all for drinks but I am going to yoga.” Much like the initial discovery of having fallen in love, you simply can’t accept it is happening to you. You are not ready for this kind of commitment!

My yoga journey began upon my brother Zain’s recommendation in August of 2007. I was in the worst shape I had ever been (and by that I mean how I felt—not just how I looked, although I was not happy with how I looked either but that was the least of my concerns): my back and neck were in constant pain and my joints were always flared. Running was no longer my friend like it once was—my shins and hips would hurt if I ran on concrete or grass and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was running away from something. Going to a gym was like going to a club (people’s attempt to mingle) and even when successful at avoiding that energy, I was too distracted to stay long enough to get any long-term benefits. I tried diets which did nothing for the actual back issues even if they made me healthier. Eventually it got to the point that I couldn’t take my back pain anymore. A law school friend joked, “Well, it is not exactly normal for us to sit 12 hours at a time behind a desk. What do you expect?” I invented my imaginary ailment: my-back-is-not-designed-to-sit!

Zain said that Yogaworks was a great studio to start. And it was. There is no membership commitment—just $30 for 2 weeks and it has a lot of different times one can attend so some time would have to work out and it also has many different teachers and types of yoga. No excuses. I told him I had never done yoga and I don’t really know how to meditate. He explained to me that it is not the same as meditation and there are different levels and anyone can do anything for 2 weeks. I promised him that I would sign up and he insisted that in order to feel even the slightest benefits I must practice at least 4 times a week for 2 weeks.

I had never done yoga before signing up. I really thought it was just sitting under a tree and breathing! My first class was with a wonderful instructor and I was breathless the entire time. She came up to me and told me to just rest at any time—as if I had a choice: I was exhausted! I had to rest every 5 minutes! What was this?! I blamed it on me being “out of shape” not realizing that this breathlessness was not just because of that. I stayed committed for two weeks and although I didn’t notice any difference, weight loss or muscular toning, I did feel that the pain in my wrists, ankles, and neck was less. I felt less heavy. So I signed up for the next month. I explored different instructors and found two I really liked and went to their classes often. It was aerobic yet calming and the stretches were really helpful. The fourth week I celebrated going four times a week and I was very proud of myself. And then I walked in one day and the instructor, one of the two I really liked, was no longer there. They told me that he had moved to a different branch and they had a revised schedule. I was heartbroken. I really liked his energy and got a great work out in his classes. But since I was already at the studio I decided to attend a class that was being offered at the same time by an instructor named Marco Rojas.

The first thing I noticed as I entered his class was that it was very crowded. Students’ mats were touching one another. Then walked in this man with a bandana wrapped around his head and classy tattoos draped around his one shoulder and arm. He carried another world air around him that felt like some recognizing. He was humble yet fierce. He introduced himself to the class in a deep voice, carrying an accent from a South American country. He asked if there were any new students who had never done yoga before. Although I had been practicing for four weeks then, I found myself compelled to say I had never practiced yoga, and I raised my hand not realizing that what I was about to experience was indeed something I had never done before. He asked if anyone had any injuries. He requested to please inform him in advance if someone does not want to be touched or adjusted. I felt an immediate affinity towards him because he reminded me of my brother Zain and even smelled like him! I felt as when hanging out in the trusted, fun company of my brother. After that first class my body was so sore I could barely walk home. That night was the beginning of my mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, transformation and integration… I cried myself to sleep.

His classes were hard—but I didn’t know what made them so challenging: the yoga poses or the mental anguish that fought within my system wanting to be set free. I didn’t know what I was looking for but I knew enough to know this was the trail to it… I was determined to find how his yoga was different than others! I was determined to simply understand.

The first six months the results were purely physical. I did not do any form of “dieting” but was governed by the wants of my body. I craved greens like I never had (as compared to when I was “working out” when I would crave carbohydrates to ‘fuel’ up after a run); I could have cared less for spinach before and now I was Popeye-the-Sailor-Girl.  I became part-amphibian: water was my newest addiction—couldn’t have enough. Artificial sugars became too sweet so I could not tolerate anything but honey. I became stronger, lost weight, became toned, stopped eating meat (not by choice—my body could not digest it without getting sick and even then when I did desire it, it was only in smaller portions), could not have more than one glass of wine, fewer issues falling asleep or not sleeping well, hardly any headaches, and best of all—I was not in physical pain! One day it occurred to me that I was practicing at least five times a week, scheduling EVERYTHING else in my life around Marco’s classes.

At that point I decided to define my life as “BM” (before Marco) and “AM” (after Marco).

I have been practicing yoga under Marco’s generous instructions for almost four years now. There have been times I have been away from New York City for long periods and there have been times I have gone to other instructors when he has been away. In New York City and other places I have explored with an open mind and heart other wonderfully dedicated instructors and had great experiences and fruitful sessions. But something is always missing.

It’s not only that Marco is innately dynamic and passionate about yoga himself but it is also that no two of his classes (even the ones that are back-to-back), like no two moments in life, are ever the same.

I know many students who feel they need a break from him and the intensity is too much. I know a few friends who no longer practice with him because it is too much for them. The transmutation is overwhelming. I also know that if you are actually learning you eventually outgrow the teacher and that day is yet to come for me.

What happens in Marco Rojas’ classes cannot be explained in one article once. It took me three years before I could articulate any of it. Often people wonder why I write about what happens there other than sharing his generous wisdom. I suppose it helps me understand many things about myself and my writing process and “see” better.

What makes Marco Rojas unique is his desire and passion for his own development. He is taking yoga to another level are beyond the prescribed training he received. When yoga began to get trendy there was a time when yoga was just a quick “power-hour” available during lunch at your nearest gym. Then came instructors and studios that claimed that in order to truly experience the benefits of yoga the practice must at least be an hour and fifteen minutes. Then came 90 minutes moving forward to a more traditional practice. Now in most studios the classes are 90 minutes long including the the studio I attend.

Pure Yoga is one of the finest, internationally acclaimed yoga studios in New York City. I only joined because Marco Rojas teaches there after he left Yogaworks. I would practice yoga in a box if I and others could fit in there and Marco was our teacher. Pure is expensive but it has a steam room and all the works that have less to do with yoga and more to do with the business of yoga, the ambiance of yoga.

I used to be able to justify my monthly membership (which comes at the expense of letting go of other social activities—I do not have a trust fund!) when I could attend Marco’s classes four times a week. A lot of us are very disheartened that now Marco only teaches at Pure twice a week (there is a studio on the West side of Manhattan and another studio on the East side and it costs extra to be a member of both and even if I could afford both the commute is not practical).

I am not sure of the controversy that has caused the change in schedule for the last half of the year. Many loyal Marco students have asserted it may have to do with money, that he has become “big” and wants more. The response from management due to complaints has been “he wants to be with his family and that is why he has cut back” (yet he is teaching at other studios where one can go drop in and this would cost an individual his or her membership at Pure and the drop in rates of $25 to $45 dollars for the two hour classes elsewhere, even those at Pure!).

What I do know is that it has to do with Marco wanting to take his students to the next level: 30 additional minutes. So two hours of practice. I didn’t understand the difference an additional 30 minutes made—and I too said to myself: who has time?! It is already such a big time investment to practice regularly—until I experienced it for myself. Those extra thirty minutes makes a lot of difference. I understand that from a business stand point Pure might be concerned that it will lose money given not many people will be willing to give up two hours (not counting the commute to and from the studio) and other risks. Or perhaps Pure prefers to be a “yoga gym” where there are trendier classes that have less to do with yoga and more to do with other aerobic activities. I don’t know. The people working behind the desks to those cleaning up to perhaps even management don’t have any control over corporate headquarters where most of them have never attended a yoga class, let alone Marco’s classes.

All I know is that my membership just went up and in order to attend Marco’s two hour classes on the weekends (which were 90 minutes and included in my membership before) I now have to pay an additional $45 to $50 for two hours on top of my raised membership. For being the most top notch highly advertised “yoga” studio I wonder where the money is going given there is only one Iyengar wall!

Others can go ahead and state “now that Marco is a big name and all…” before they finish their sentence or think he has somehow changed or is after more money. I know Marco was always special and that is what he relentlessly shows us in class about ourselves.

Take yesterday, for example, we all walked out knowing we are incendiary devices of whatever kind of change we are seeking. The real “1 percent” is made for evolution.

But then again the people who own Pure as a business are also the 1% who have probably never stepped into a single yoga class, and definitely not Marco Rojas’, and definitely not more than once if they have.

Pure bliss or Pure profit: there’s a choice and it is not mutually exclusive. But you have to practice without your ego to know that.

I told V.G., a mentor and friend, that I was afraid I was addicted to yoga. I am dependent on yoga. I was expecting a humorous reply: better than being addicted to other things…

But instead he replied, “Are you addicted to air?”

Just because you know you need air to live doesn’t mean you know how to breathe.

Yoga teaches one how to breathe and if you can breathe better in any moment it transforms that moment. And that is all we can experience at any given time: a moment.

Perhaps I should end this with ‘namaste’. Or a “thank you for your time” is just the same.

Gratitude.

~a.q.s.

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